i have been thinking of trying magic mushrooms in a while but everytime i am convinced i pull myself back. I am not scared of what shroom do in general but i am scared on what they would do to me. I suffer from paranoia in real life and at times i have suicidial thoughts and i feel very depressed, when i have these feelings i never did extreme actions but i ended up in dark places of my mind feeling really down when i feel like this i usually manage to understand that i am in a not clear state of mind and therefore; i try to wait until the feeling passes and stay alone for some days adding to this, when i am in this state i sometimes have slight hallucinations and am kind of spaced out. On the other hand though sometimes i am very cheerful and kind of hyper and my mind works very fast and i love life and everything in my life. All this happens without the effect of any drug in my system its just me. My main question is if it the right choice to try mushrooms i was thinking to get a very small dose to start with and then work with it but could this actually make me have a harmful trip and should i just accept iit is not right type of things for me? or should i accept i better not have this experience?