suboxone..not such a wonder drug for me

[bLondeonewasfreedom]

I know a lot of people have gotten clean when using suboxone but for me it hasn't helped at all. I'll still do heroin and oxy even when taking suboxone (dumb I know,but I can't help it..) I started out just doing oxys but then got a good H connect and have been doing about a bun a day or more if I can afford it. I've gone through thousands of dollars in saving and now im down to nothing, lost my fiance, basically everything because of my habits. I just can't seem to get my mind right no matter what, i always have this super strong compullison to do whatever to get H. I'm so sick of living like this and was considering going to detox and impatiant rehab since I can't seem to kick this myself of even with suboxone. I'm at my wits end right now and don't know what else there is to do..has anyone been to detox and how did it work for you?

[tried almost everything]

I aint ever been to detox, (yet), but i would strongly suggest you do. Go see a doctor or something, man, if shits this bad and even you know it yourself, now is the time for professional help. You can beat this, it will be no walk in the park, but you can do it and come out of it at the end a stronger person. Dont sit and do nothing, get help man, any kind of help froma professional.

[dizzy]

I've been to rehab 4 times for battling addiction to meth, heroin/oxys and xanax. The detox definitely eases the painful and torturous withdrawl symptoms. Its way better than trying to kick on your own. I definitely recommend you look into a long term inpatient program. I can say that I learned a lot about myself and the disease by going to treatment. Its not a cure by any means. I totally relate to your situation. My obsession with the drugs cost me a great job, house, sense of self worth and self respect, yet I still struggle with using. I want to be clean so bad, but its so hard to make the lifestyle change esp if you've been using for a long time. I hope you get the help you need and free yourself from the mental obsession. Feel free to msg me if you have any other questions. Id be happy to help anyway I can.

[Socially Inept]

I've been to detox, then on suboxone. It wasn't the amazing wonder drug for me, either. It definitely works great at controling w/ds, but all its really doing is just putting them off for another time. I got out of detox, was on subs for a couple of months then jumped head first back into using. For some reason I made an appt with a sub doctor Dec 7th... I *really* don't want to stop using, but I need to give it at least one more shot... like I said, suboxone works great for w/ds, but the mental part of opiate addiction the biggest challenge.. for me at least.

[bLondeonewasfreedom]

yeah the mental part is def the biggest challange for me too. Everything is such a trigger, even just getting in my car will set me off. I'm really wondering if a change of scenery would help.

[dizzy]

I thought a change of scenery would be good for me too. I convinced myself if I got far away from Memphis and all the "people, places and things" that were triggers for me, id be able to get my life back on track. But I ended up relapsing after bein clean for 64 days. I was trying to run away from my problems, but I realized my problem is me more so than the drugs. The drugs just prevent me from dealing with all of the real underlying issues within myself. No matter where you go, there you are. Sounds cliche, but its true. That mental obsession to use is torture. Your logic knows its wrong and you shouldn't do it and its caused you so much pain and grief and you want a better life, but the obsession keeps you goin back for more. Its a vicious cycle I know all too well. I feel your pain, sweetie. I wish you all the best.

[Falc]

Doggy I'm going to be honest with you. I was banging H the whole time (almost whole time) I was on suboxone. IT IS A WASTE YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR IT BUT I'M TELLING YOU IT IS A WASTE.

Also, you think your tolerance is super fucking high. As soon as you get off of the subs, WATCH OUT. I OD'd TWICE because of that exact scenario.

[Smokin_Kat]

i think you, bLondeonewasfreedom and dizzy really need to PM each other and discuss your same feelings about your addiction. dizzy is one of my best friends and i read your post and i can hear dizzy saying the same things.

i'm an addict as well. alcoholic. NA and AA really can help. i think suboxone had a part in my friend OD'ing on heroin. but!! i'm not a doctor. that was a thought.

[Ritual]

Have you tried sniffing the suboxen?

I find it helped me with the mental fixation. It makes it kick in harder and quicker I think. And it feels like you are actually using a drug instead of using a normal prescription.

Maybe thats weird but I found it helped me stay on subs only.

I took subs for over a year without taking H. Wish you the best of luck!