m4g1cky
07-08-2004, 04:12 PM
The time: 9:00PM
The victim: Kyle Mancuso, 120lbs, and 5'4" of Costa Rican/Italian manliness.
I walked up the majestically darkening driveway, knocked on the door, and walked in. As I walked in, I was greeted by the 3 coolest dogs in the world. Though I can't remember their names they did the coolest things:
The 1st and largest dog, would follow someone around and drink ANY alcohol that fell, 10 minutes later, it passed out on the deck.
The 2nd dog, was so small that it slept behind the TV, laying on the wires, it even coiled the cables to make a small bed.
The 3rd dog, just slept the whole night on its bed, sometimes a person would go and pick it up for a little, but once the dog realized it wasn't getting any attention, it would get up and go back to it's bed.
Onwards with the story... As I was the first one, it was my job to get all the drinks set up; mind you, the guy who threw this party is fucking rich. As I was setting up the drinks, I began to realize the sheer amount of alcohol that would be consumed this night. Every drink imaginable:
Absolut Vodka [And all it's unholy offspring]
Smirnoff [And every variation under the sun]
Jack Daniels
Skyy Vodka
Abisinthe [80% of mm mm goodness]
There were obviously more, but these are the only ones that stuck in my head.
And that's only the hard liquor, the fridge was jam-packed with such gems as: Mike's Hard Lemonade, Budweiser, Bud Lite, Sam Adams, Yuengling, Coors Lite, Smirnoff Twisteds, and Heineken.
I was there alone for only a short time, at which time, one of my best friends arrived: Ariella, more on her adventure later. A mere 5 minutes later, my greatest friend of ever, and fellow LWSer crashed the party: Ori, though some of you know him as WEED GURU. Only then did the party begin, as me and Ori step outside to enjoy the sweet, sweet, cancer sticks known as Camels, more people arrive:
Courtland, who, unfortunately was born with the initials COKS, though it makes for funny situations sometimes.
Dan, another one of my good friends.
Jeremy, who is also an LWSer[laranzu] with some of his friends.
Sarah, who I talked alot to, sadly, while inebriated, but she didn't care, and offered to hold my cigarette money until her friend got there.
Rachel, who got drunk too, and hugged me alot[not because she was drunk i hopeLOL].
Alex[ACE], who's comedic talent is unmatched. He made me pay him a dollar for a cigarette though :(.
Drew, who is constantly brought to parties by Ace, and is very chill.
Alex Cooper, a cool guy, I met him at the mall on my birthday, and saw him again yesterday, he offered to get me stuff from the local sex shop, so naturally, I'll be getting buttplugs and bondage supplies.
Mike, another cool guy, he used to go to my school, but left to play hockey in canada, drives a Mazda RX-8, so he's cool in my book.
Mike[that guy], he's always around, you know who he is, but you just can't think of how or why you know him.
As these totally cool people begin to arrive, I grab my first drink with Ariella, 1 Mike's Hard Lemonade. I find a nice spot on the couch, and sit down while watching MTV[:(]. I then go outside and grab another cancer stick from Ori, as we are there chillin' and smokin', my friend Court comes over and starts to turn on the grill, apparently, they were going to be grilling Burgers and Hot Dogs, but we did have Hot Dogs, and only then, did I realize how much the internet has corrupted me, here's an idea of what transpired:
Court: "Justin! We don't have any hot dogs, you wanna go get them?"
Justin: "I don't know, man, you guys want hot dogs?"
Kyle: "What do you mean 'no hot dogs', just cut off a couple penises and grill those."
Court and Justin: :shifty:
As I realize that I'm in real life and not an IRC channel, I duck out and do some 2 double shots of some Vanilla/Licorice Smirnoff with Ariella, as that's done, Ariella eyes the Abisinthe, and says she wants a shot of that, so I gave it to her, but not before I diluted it like crazy. At first she was fine, but maybe 30 minutes after the shot, she started to stumble about, and eventually jumped into the pool, luckily, she had a bathing suit, so her clothes didn't get wet....Until she got out of the pool, and put on her clothes. I took it upon myself to watch over her, taking all her drinks and exchanging them for water or Pepsi, then respectfully, drinking them myself.
I started to get a bit light headed around 2 hours after getting there(read:11:00), and only then did I start to slow down on the drinking, as my mom was picking me up at 12:00. Unfortunately, that didn't stop me from taking another shot of vodka, and downing 3 more Mikes, and a Smirnoff Twisted. At this point, I could barely stand up, I saw 3 versions of the same light, and try as I might, I couldn't get my eyes to focus. So I walked outside, and began to talk to Sarah, as we chatted, I opened up the floodgates for no reason, and commenced Operation: "Babble to her about all the things I don't like about my girlfriend", thank god Sarah is my friend, she was able to talk to me and tell me exactly what to do. I wandered away from her, into conversation with Alex Cooper, we began to talk about girlfriends and girls in general, when he brought up the idea that I could give him $50, and he would go get my girlfriend a vibrator, then give me the change, I have yet to give him the cash, but I will, cause that's a good deal.
I looked down at my phone, and jumped in fear, then fell in drunken glee as my phone's clock read "11:56". As if God was punishing me, my phone rang:
Mom: "Kyle?"
Kyle: "Yeah, Mom?"
[Keep in mind I'm shit faced right now, not throwing up, just drunk.]
Mom: "I'm outside, so just say goodbye then come down."
Kyle: "Ok, Mom."
As I hung up, Court comes over to me:
Court: "Kyle, you're leaving now?"
Kyle: "Yeah, my Mom is waiting."
Court: "You're going to leave looking and acting like that? Oh fuck no, lets get some Axe and some Gum."
5 Minutes and 2 gumsticks later, I was slowly making my way down the driveway. As I look back at the house, I think to myself:
"I'm definately posting this on LWS."
I get home around 12:15, tell everyone how much I drank, then passed out on my bed.
If he has anymore parties, I will definately be posting some pictures. I hope you enjoyed my first hand account, even though most of you have been drunk before. To those of you who haven't, this is what it is like.
RECAP:
2 Double shots of Smirnoff
4 Mike's Hard Lemonades
1 Bud Lite
1 Smirnoff Twisted
1 Shot of Skyy Vodka.
tl;dr version: Fuck you, I took a long time writing this, you can take a long time reading it.
The victim: Kyle Mancuso, 120lbs, and 5'4" of Costa Rican/Italian manliness.
I walked up the majestically darkening driveway, knocked on the door, and walked in. As I walked in, I was greeted by the 3 coolest dogs in the world. Though I can't remember their names they did the coolest things:
The 1st and largest dog, would follow someone around and drink ANY alcohol that fell, 10 minutes later, it passed out on the deck.
The 2nd dog, was so small that it slept behind the TV, laying on the wires, it even coiled the cables to make a small bed.
The 3rd dog, just slept the whole night on its bed, sometimes a person would go and pick it up for a little, but once the dog realized it wasn't getting any attention, it would get up and go back to it's bed.
Onwards with the story... As I was the first one, it was my job to get all the drinks set up; mind you, the guy who threw this party is fucking rich. As I was setting up the drinks, I began to realize the sheer amount of alcohol that would be consumed this night. Every drink imaginable:
Absolut Vodka [And all it's unholy offspring]
Smirnoff [And every variation under the sun]
Jack Daniels
Skyy Vodka
Abisinthe [80% of mm mm goodness]
There were obviously more, but these are the only ones that stuck in my head.
And that's only the hard liquor, the fridge was jam-packed with such gems as: Mike's Hard Lemonade, Budweiser, Bud Lite, Sam Adams, Yuengling, Coors Lite, Smirnoff Twisteds, and Heineken.
I was there alone for only a short time, at which time, one of my best friends arrived: Ariella, more on her adventure later. A mere 5 minutes later, my greatest friend of ever, and fellow LWSer crashed the party: Ori, though some of you know him as WEED GURU. Only then did the party begin, as me and Ori step outside to enjoy the sweet, sweet, cancer sticks known as Camels, more people arrive:
Courtland, who, unfortunately was born with the initials COKS, though it makes for funny situations sometimes.
Dan, another one of my good friends.
Jeremy, who is also an LWSer[laranzu] with some of his friends.
Sarah, who I talked alot to, sadly, while inebriated, but she didn't care, and offered to hold my cigarette money until her friend got there.
Rachel, who got drunk too, and hugged me alot[not because she was drunk i hopeLOL].
Alex[ACE], who's comedic talent is unmatched. He made me pay him a dollar for a cigarette though :(.
Drew, who is constantly brought to parties by Ace, and is very chill.
Alex Cooper, a cool guy, I met him at the mall on my birthday, and saw him again yesterday, he offered to get me stuff from the local sex shop, so naturally, I'll be getting buttplugs and bondage supplies.
Mike, another cool guy, he used to go to my school, but left to play hockey in canada, drives a Mazda RX-8, so he's cool in my book.
Mike[that guy], he's always around, you know who he is, but you just can't think of how or why you know him.
As these totally cool people begin to arrive, I grab my first drink with Ariella, 1 Mike's Hard Lemonade. I find a nice spot on the couch, and sit down while watching MTV[:(]. I then go outside and grab another cancer stick from Ori, as we are there chillin' and smokin', my friend Court comes over and starts to turn on the grill, apparently, they were going to be grilling Burgers and Hot Dogs, but we did have Hot Dogs, and only then, did I realize how much the internet has corrupted me, here's an idea of what transpired:
Court: "Justin! We don't have any hot dogs, you wanna go get them?"
Justin: "I don't know, man, you guys want hot dogs?"
Kyle: "What do you mean 'no hot dogs', just cut off a couple penises and grill those."
Court and Justin: :shifty:
As I realize that I'm in real life and not an IRC channel, I duck out and do some 2 double shots of some Vanilla/Licorice Smirnoff with Ariella, as that's done, Ariella eyes the Abisinthe, and says she wants a shot of that, so I gave it to her, but not before I diluted it like crazy. At first she was fine, but maybe 30 minutes after the shot, she started to stumble about, and eventually jumped into the pool, luckily, she had a bathing suit, so her clothes didn't get wet....Until she got out of the pool, and put on her clothes. I took it upon myself to watch over her, taking all her drinks and exchanging them for water or Pepsi, then respectfully, drinking them myself.
I started to get a bit light headed around 2 hours after getting there(read:11:00), and only then did I start to slow down on the drinking, as my mom was picking me up at 12:00. Unfortunately, that didn't stop me from taking another shot of vodka, and downing 3 more Mikes, and a Smirnoff Twisted. At this point, I could barely stand up, I saw 3 versions of the same light, and try as I might, I couldn't get my eyes to focus. So I walked outside, and began to talk to Sarah, as we chatted, I opened up the floodgates for no reason, and commenced Operation: "Babble to her about all the things I don't like about my girlfriend", thank god Sarah is my friend, she was able to talk to me and tell me exactly what to do. I wandered away from her, into conversation with Alex Cooper, we began to talk about girlfriends and girls in general, when he brought up the idea that I could give him $50, and he would go get my girlfriend a vibrator, then give me the change, I have yet to give him the cash, but I will, cause that's a good deal.
I looked down at my phone, and jumped in fear, then fell in drunken glee as my phone's clock read "11:56". As if God was punishing me, my phone rang:
Mom: "Kyle?"
Kyle: "Yeah, Mom?"
[Keep in mind I'm shit faced right now, not throwing up, just drunk.]
Mom: "I'm outside, so just say goodbye then come down."
Kyle: "Ok, Mom."
As I hung up, Court comes over to me:
Court: "Kyle, you're leaving now?"
Kyle: "Yeah, my Mom is waiting."
Court: "You're going to leave looking and acting like that? Oh fuck no, lets get some Axe and some Gum."
5 Minutes and 2 gumsticks later, I was slowly making my way down the driveway. As I look back at the house, I think to myself:
"I'm definately posting this on LWS."
I get home around 12:15, tell everyone how much I drank, then passed out on my bed.
If he has anymore parties, I will definately be posting some pictures. I hope you enjoyed my first hand account, even though most of you have been drunk before. To those of you who haven't, this is what it is like.
RECAP:
2 Double shots of Smirnoff
4 Mike's Hard Lemonades
1 Bud Lite
1 Smirnoff Twisted
1 Shot of Skyy Vodka.
tl;dr version: Fuck you, I took a long time writing this, you can take a long time reading it.