sKunks
05-08-2006, 07:51 PM
well, today 5/8/06, i ventured into reality and left with truth. today i took 730 mgs of dxm. this day is one to remember.
i woke up at about 5:30 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep, because i was so excited and anxious to trip on dex. i haven't tripped off of dex in a long while and i just really needed to feel it again. anyways, 7:50 am i dose 500 mgs. i wait for my friend to show up, we were supposed to be tripping together. he wanted to trip on Diph and me on Dex. he showed up with no bud, telling me he somehow lost it. i figured fuck it I'm already feeling it so lets chill.... and that's what we did for 2 hours or so.
we sat here in my room listening to aphex twin and watching the itunes visualizer. it was so amazing and it made so much sense. the way the formations warped and morphed into other creations. it seemed bliss, until i had to throw up. after i barfed i let me dog, scruffy, in. hes a stoner dog and i like to chill with him when i feel like it. well, i brought him in my room and we continued to listen to the music with the visuals.
whenever i looked into scruffy's eyes, i felt incomplete. i felt, that i had no purpose and i had no reason to exist. but after much thinking i came to the conclusion that scruffy was my younger brother. he was there to lead me through tough times and to help me stay sane. scruffy was the shit.
after a bit, me and my friend decided to reDose. i took the rest of my dex, 230 mgs; and he took a few more allergy pills. within twenty minutes i could feel it. so after headbanging to black dahlia murder for awhile, we decided to take a walk to the park.
within 5 minutes of walking my friend started bitching about how long it was. so, we got to his truck and drove to the park. on the way to the park, we had to pass by an old friend of mine. a best friend that was scared out of the "non-sober" lifestyle. as we passed by his house, his parents were loading somethings in a truck. passing them just reminded me of my old friend too much.
we got to the park and parked(lol) and made our way to the swings. as i sat down on the swing, i felt so fascinated. the area that surrounded us was just so breathtaking. it was just a bit of grass that ended and started the vast desert. my friend took a seat next to me and we started to talk. i explained to him my theory of how we work.
that our bodies and our consciousness are two separate beings. without me (aka the consciousness) there would be no body. the body needs me to be. think about, when we are asleep, we are practically dead. we just black out and lose contact with reality and that's where the dreams start. anyways, when we are awake we can only control ourselves. meaning, the body breathes on its own; the body pumps blood on its own; the body digests food on its own. without us there would be no them. i guess the most simple way to put it is, our body is a container for ourselves(consciousness).
he just agreed with me the whole way, knowing i was tripping balls. we sat there for awhile, just discussing how things made sense. such as the blue sky, the white clouds, the green grass, the brown desert; it all made sense. i said it felt like "Requiem for a dream."
my friend insisted on us leaving, because of his horrible cotton mouth. so, arrived at my house and drank a bit then decided to hit up our friend, Danny. on the drive there, i lost it. i was tripping balls. my mind wouldn't just shut the fuck up, it kept bitching and bitching. i thought so much about my parents. how my dad is not here and my mom is, that was just plain fucked up to me. i couldn't escape ugly feelings. then we showed up at Danny's.
we got off the car and walked to his room. the sunlight was so bright.. it was like fucking neon. his room, seemed to me as a " fish tank." you could hear the "bubbles" and "sounds" that you would hear from a fish tank. that just amazed me. i tried talking to them, but it was really hard to have a conversation. i just didn't make sense :shifty:
we decided to drive back towards my house to meet up with our bud connect. walking out of the house, itself was a journey. we drove to his house and back to Danny's. the ride was just like the first drive to Danny's. it reminded me so much of what i was thinking about, so i continued to think about that.
at Danny's we pack up the bong and i could feel the effects of the dxm washing off already. as soon as i exhale the smoke, it all comes back to me. hits me harder then the first time and sends me spiraling through the walls. at that point, i was questioning my sanity. i kept scaring myself that i would stay dexxed out forever. that was an unpleasant feeling.
just sat there... thinking... looking at the wall merge with the neon yellow tree. becoming one as if it was meant to be that way. i stood up and looked in the mirror to look at my pupils. i couldn't find my pupils, but the mirror started blooping and warping in all different kinds of directions. it was so amazing watching the mirror dance like it did. that was cool...
Danny needed to go pick up something and told me and my buddy to sit tight and wait for him to return. we sat there.... and we waited... but time clicked so fucking slow, so we decided to head back to my house. upon entering my home, the feeling of sobriety comes to meet me. tells me i need to rest and clean up, so i did.
hope its not to hard to read; im still in the afterglow. hope you enjoy..
i woke up at about 5:30 in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep, because i was so excited and anxious to trip on dex. i haven't tripped off of dex in a long while and i just really needed to feel it again. anyways, 7:50 am i dose 500 mgs. i wait for my friend to show up, we were supposed to be tripping together. he wanted to trip on Diph and me on Dex. he showed up with no bud, telling me he somehow lost it. i figured fuck it I'm already feeling it so lets chill.... and that's what we did for 2 hours or so.
we sat here in my room listening to aphex twin and watching the itunes visualizer. it was so amazing and it made so much sense. the way the formations warped and morphed into other creations. it seemed bliss, until i had to throw up. after i barfed i let me dog, scruffy, in. hes a stoner dog and i like to chill with him when i feel like it. well, i brought him in my room and we continued to listen to the music with the visuals.
whenever i looked into scruffy's eyes, i felt incomplete. i felt, that i had no purpose and i had no reason to exist. but after much thinking i came to the conclusion that scruffy was my younger brother. he was there to lead me through tough times and to help me stay sane. scruffy was the shit.
after a bit, me and my friend decided to reDose. i took the rest of my dex, 230 mgs; and he took a few more allergy pills. within twenty minutes i could feel it. so after headbanging to black dahlia murder for awhile, we decided to take a walk to the park.
within 5 minutes of walking my friend started bitching about how long it was. so, we got to his truck and drove to the park. on the way to the park, we had to pass by an old friend of mine. a best friend that was scared out of the "non-sober" lifestyle. as we passed by his house, his parents were loading somethings in a truck. passing them just reminded me of my old friend too much.
we got to the park and parked(lol) and made our way to the swings. as i sat down on the swing, i felt so fascinated. the area that surrounded us was just so breathtaking. it was just a bit of grass that ended and started the vast desert. my friend took a seat next to me and we started to talk. i explained to him my theory of how we work.
that our bodies and our consciousness are two separate beings. without me (aka the consciousness) there would be no body. the body needs me to be. think about, when we are asleep, we are practically dead. we just black out and lose contact with reality and that's where the dreams start. anyways, when we are awake we can only control ourselves. meaning, the body breathes on its own; the body pumps blood on its own; the body digests food on its own. without us there would be no them. i guess the most simple way to put it is, our body is a container for ourselves(consciousness).
he just agreed with me the whole way, knowing i was tripping balls. we sat there for awhile, just discussing how things made sense. such as the blue sky, the white clouds, the green grass, the brown desert; it all made sense. i said it felt like "Requiem for a dream."
my friend insisted on us leaving, because of his horrible cotton mouth. so, arrived at my house and drank a bit then decided to hit up our friend, Danny. on the drive there, i lost it. i was tripping balls. my mind wouldn't just shut the fuck up, it kept bitching and bitching. i thought so much about my parents. how my dad is not here and my mom is, that was just plain fucked up to me. i couldn't escape ugly feelings. then we showed up at Danny's.
we got off the car and walked to his room. the sunlight was so bright.. it was like fucking neon. his room, seemed to me as a " fish tank." you could hear the "bubbles" and "sounds" that you would hear from a fish tank. that just amazed me. i tried talking to them, but it was really hard to have a conversation. i just didn't make sense :shifty:
we decided to drive back towards my house to meet up with our bud connect. walking out of the house, itself was a journey. we drove to his house and back to Danny's. the ride was just like the first drive to Danny's. it reminded me so much of what i was thinking about, so i continued to think about that.
at Danny's we pack up the bong and i could feel the effects of the dxm washing off already. as soon as i exhale the smoke, it all comes back to me. hits me harder then the first time and sends me spiraling through the walls. at that point, i was questioning my sanity. i kept scaring myself that i would stay dexxed out forever. that was an unpleasant feeling.
just sat there... thinking... looking at the wall merge with the neon yellow tree. becoming one as if it was meant to be that way. i stood up and looked in the mirror to look at my pupils. i couldn't find my pupils, but the mirror started blooping and warping in all different kinds of directions. it was so amazing watching the mirror dance like it did. that was cool...
Danny needed to go pick up something and told me and my buddy to sit tight and wait for him to return. we sat there.... and we waited... but time clicked so fucking slow, so we decided to head back to my house. upon entering my home, the feeling of sobriety comes to meet me. tells me i need to rest and clean up, so i did.
hope its not to hard to read; im still in the afterglow. hope you enjoy..